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My love, my son, Ian Bass, Longview Tx

posted Jan 23, 2015 07:23:19 by basslakeview
After years of trying to get pregnant my miracle baby finally came when I was 33 years old. He was perfect, a beautiful child in every way. When he became a teenager he began to change. I could tell I was losing him. We always had good repore (or so I thought), but he became angry and confrontational.
After years of alcohol and rx. drug binging I lost my only child to an accidental suicide on 4-21-2013, 2 days after his 33rd birthday. He was visiting a friend in Ft. Worth. I say "accidental" because I thought he had hopes of finishing school after just starting back that year.
I have had dreams of him and one vision in my home, but no communication. He was my only child and my heart is in so much pain that I've had to retire from my job last Oct. Now all I do is sit in my house and cry. I thought by now I would be doing better, but it seems I am only getting worse (in my grief). I just want to die so that I can be with him again. I've just about lost all my friends and family. They are at a loss as to how to help me. I know there's nothing they can do...I suppose it's all up to me now.... Elizabeth Bass, Longview Tx.
Elizabeth Bass
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2 replies
JanBennett said Jan 26, 2015 05:58:10
please know you are not alone...and neither are our boys. Hang on kiddo, it will get different, not necessarily better but calmer-more manageable. One moment at a time.
basslakeview said Jan 26, 2015 13:37:13
Thanks, Jan. I'm trying..don't think I have the courage otherwise! Just wish there were someone to really share my grief with...misery loves company?!!! It's so very hard being alone.
Elizabeth Bass
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