Members | Sign In
Channeling Erik Family > Request Facilitation from Erik
avatar

Gillian

posted Jan 11, 2015 05:18:12 by TraciJohnson
I've lost a lot of people in my life - grandparents, aunts, uncles and friends. The loss which had the biggest impact on me was the loss of my friend, Gillian. She died of a brain aneurysm when we were 16 years old. One is not prepared to lose a friend when they're so young. It has been almost 40 years and I don't know that a day goes by where I don't think of her.

Right now I'm listening to the song "Don't Let the Sun Go Down on Me" by Elton John. It was our favourite song at the time of her death and for me, it has become her theme song.

I've been a part of several faiths, but found none of them to be what I needed. I've spent many years begging and pleading with lost loved ones to let me know that they're okay and that they still exist, somewhere. I've read where psychics said to ask for a penny, or maybe a feather. They said to spread flour and let the spirits scatter it. None of those requests were answered, so I figured that the psychics were phoney or didn't know what they were talking about.

So I prayed. I prayed to God, asking Him to let me know that He was there and was met with only silence from Heaven.

I even gave Erik permission to stink up my office. I figured he'd think that was pretty funny. Or just do anything to get my attention. But I've never felt any communication from him either.

It's at the point where after so many years of unsuccessful requests, I'm pretty much an atheist. A reluctant one. But I'm still a hopeful atheist. I hope that I'm wrong. Elisa has said that we still have a relationship with our loved ones who have crossed over to the light, but I have not found this to be the case at all. For me, they're simply gone.

I never seem to give up though and now find myself here. At this point, I don't know what else to do.

Gillian Kirtley lived in Kitchener, Ontario, Canada and she died in December of 1975 when she was 16 years old. Her funeral was on Christmas Eve.
page   1
3 replies
avatar
InMySacredSpace said Jan 11, 2015 15:27:06
Let me ask you - what are your intentions when you ask for these things? Where do your beliefs lie?

These are very important things to consider. Many people in your situation tend to lean toward the non-believer category. They doubt the existence of an afterlife, a god, etc. but they don't really want to, so they ask for proof. But the ROOT of their request is based in doubt.

If you've read much of this blog or any relevant material, you'll be aware of the concept that thought creates reality and not just any thought, the "sponsoring" thought - the root belief.

So if your root belief is that of doubt, that is going to block your ability to feel any sort of connection to God, as well as the ability to be open to any kind of spiritual experience. For some people, their doubt is so deeply ingrained, no amount of subtle proof - pennies and feathers from heaven, timely cloud shapes, or whatever it may be, will ever be proof enough. They amount to nothing but coincidences.

You need to shift your beliefs from doubt to faith. Or at least to one of neutrality.

I know many people who claim atheism have a very hard time with the notion of faith. They don't like faith, they like KNOWING and so they put their faith in science and the five senses and "proof". But it IS still faith - the ultimate faith. Faith that everything they are experiencing in this reality is actually happening as they believe it is and not some extremely convincing hallucination. It's the one thing they can't prove.

I was once where you were. I'd come to the conclusion that there was "probably" no God and the atheists were probably correct. The difference was that I'd had a handful of very solid spiritual experiences as a child and in my early 20s- seeing spirits, knowing things I shouldn't have known, dreams that then actually happened. And I always held onto those experiences and thought, 'There IS something. I know there is, I've experienced it. It may just not be what religion says it is." That was enough to keep me curious, and curiosity was what kept me open. When I found this website, it explained so many experiences I'd already had, and it made so much sense.

When I began to explore it - I didn't know what to expect, so I had no expectations. I was just curious to see what happened. When you have expectations, those are obviously rooted in beliefs and thus, they affect your experience. So if you are rooted in doubt, and your expectation is that nothing will happen, even though you might be hopeful...you'll still end up with nothing.

Have no expectations, and you can be nothing but pleasantly surprised.

avatar
TraciJohnson said Jan 11, 2015 16:38:46
I was a woman of faith. I started out in life as a Catholic. Then my Dad took me to the Anglican church when I was about 3. I remember that I loved Sunday School. When I was 12, I began attending the Baptist Church. Then at the age of 17, I was baptized into the Mormon Church, where I was a member of that organization for 30 years.

I only began to doubt my faith once I began to notice that Heaven seemed like a rather silent place. One day, when I was saying my prayers, I stopped and I asked, "Is there even anyone there listening to me? Hello? Helloooooo!!!!!?" I stopped to ask that question because my family was going through an awful lot over about a 3 year period. The list of trials was as long as my arm. But I prayed and prayed for just a tiny bit of relief, in order to be able to take a breath, and it just felt like no one was listening. We just kept getting knocked down again and again.

That was the first moment that I dared to think that maybe no one was there.

Ever since then, I've searched for answers and searched for truth, wherever I can find it. Ever since then, I've basically been calling out, "Is anyone there?" but have been met only with silence.

This leaves me with no choice other than to entertain the idea that it's all an illusion and that no one does make it out of this life alive.

So why am I here? I'm stubborn and I don't give up, even though everything is telling me to just let it go. "It just ends. Deal with it," the little voice in my head says. But I can't deal with that, so I just keep searching.

But maybe it's time to give up. I don't know. I don't want to and I probably won't. And so, here I am.


avatar
InMySacredSpace said Jan 11, 2015 19:00:00
So how do you expect your questions to be answered when you say, "hello? is there anyone listening to me?"
Login below to reply: