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My 19 year old nephew, Eric, passed away almost a month ago

posted Nov 15, 2014 07:45:27 by ericsaunt
Never in my life have I experianced pain like this. I never imagined this would happen to me and my family. Getting the phone call early in the morning on Friday oct. 17th put my world in a standstill. I can't even explain the pain Im going through im loosing my mind. I loved him so much he was like a son to me. After reading this book and all the blogs im at peace with his death I am certain he's in a much better place and he is no longer in the pain of living in a world that was not for him. I just miss him like crazy and I wish I could hear his voice one last time and just get a hug and kiss. The last time I saw him was on my birthday we both wore the same color if I had only known it was going to be the last time I was going to see him I would hold him and never let him go. His death was so sudden and so unexpected. No one knew he was in so much pain no one knew he was so depressed. A few weeks before he passed I had a two hour conversation with him, he told me he was depressed and he felt alone and with all my heart I tried to show hi how much we all loved him and how much we all care about him. He was my pride and joy. Anywhere I went with him I held my head up high and proudly introduced him as my sisters son. He was so beautiful inside and out and I selfishly wish he wasn't gone because I don't want to be deprived of his presence. I just don't know how to go on. I want to believe with all my heart that when you die you don't just disappear there has to be more to this life after all the soul and spirit seem to be so powerful they can't just disappear. My Eric was such an innocent person he had a heart of gold and eyes that made me melt. I had trust in him because I respected him. He was my dude and I just want to know that he still exists, even though I can feel him around me at times I just want to know its true. He had a different connection with me. There was a different kind of love that I can't explain. I just need some comfort in all this pain
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ericsaunt said Nov 15, 2014 07:51:22
I forgot to add that he lived in Canoga Park, California. He was 19 years old and his full name was Eric Kazakian.
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